Booting Quartz64 Model B

[CounterPillow]

and with arch the processor tried to self immolate / burn a hole in my desk.

You were probably using the wrong device tree, Arch's kernel package doesn't yet have a Model B device tree so you'd have to bring your own.

I've just received my Model B so I'll look into updating the Arch instructions for it and provide a pre-compiled device tree.

Edit: Updated the Arch instructions on the wiki for the Model B