My PBP starts up like a 1977 Chevy Nova

[rotwang]

Try booting from usb??
Do try BOTH usb sockets, also different usb keys
(for example, I have q4os on a key, won't boot in usb3, will boot in usb2)

I was told in the other thread that this machine won't boot from USB. But thanks!

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The trick is to put something heavy in the passenger seat and put the seat belt on.

I feel like I've suggested this before, but your problems don't sound like hardware to me at all, and sound exactly like what Manjaro can be like.

Alrighty. If you think it's software, I'll flash the emmc again.

Did I mention the SD card didn't work under Arch either? lsblk is just showing nothing in either OS. 

The card _is_ there if I put it in a mini-SB->USB reader and put the USB in. ...but I can't boot the machine from USB. I only drag this point up from my other thread because it would be soooo nice to be able to boot the SD and test another OS with this crashing problem without having to go through the hassle of opening the machine up to flash the emmc directly, and creating a backup image of my current pleasingly-configured Manjaro OS.

I'll be the first to admit that I'd like the lazy solution if I can get it!

Thanks again. I'll let you know how the emmc flash goes.